I recently wrote a post about being a chaotic hot mess.
Don’t worry, I’m OK. I’m just exhausted.
I know I haven’t posted lately. Sorry about that. I just couldn’t muster the energy for a blog post this past week.
Nothing super terrible is happening in my life. It’s just a lot of stuff. And I feel overwhelmed by it all.
Work is stressful. Waking up at 5 a.m. on the days I go into the office are wearing on me as is my commute. (It’s been almost three years.) Work is crazy busy, different after transitions and stressful. I love my yoga teacher training, but that adds an element of stress. Things are gearing up with my Observing and Assisting portion of the teacher training.
And that’s just work and school. We all have things going on in our personal lives as well. Losing a longtime family friend and professor. Worrying about your grandpa.
When all of that is going on the little things can really weigh on me as well. I am sure (I really hope) I am not the only one who can have something minor happen and it brings you to tears.
Times like this I remind myself that it is OK. That I will be OK. And that I need to take a step back and do what I need to do to take care of me.
Once February hit I was happy to realize I had survived January as I knew it would be a tough month. I think the past fews weeks have just caught up with me.
On Tuesday I was at the brink of my exhaustion and was brought to tears. I decided I had to take Friday off and take care of me. I made an appointment for a massage at the Claremont, where I also utilized the steam room, whirl pool, shower with 11 shower heads (yes, I know California is in a drought), a lounging area and cucumber water. I was pretty much a noodle after spending about three hours at the day spa.
That evening I also made it to a Restorative Yoga class. Because it was Valentine’s Day the teacher talked about self-compassion, which so many of us lack. As we breathed in she reminded us of acceptance and as we breathed out she reminded us to surrender.
I knew I needed to take care of me. And that’s what I did. Luckily I had no plans this weekend. The spare room/office needed some organizing. I built some shelves I got from Target and the room looks very adult. It is quite exciting.
Sometimes when my surroundings are in chaos it is difficult for me to relax or concentrate. When I was in college I had the cleanest apartment the night before an exam.
I took this weekend to sleep in and relax and do whatever felt right.
And I know that some of my dear friends have a lot more shit going on in their lives. But we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. Because whatever shit is yours is yours. And if it is hanging on for you then it is.
This is a good reminder that not everything is as it seems. So be kind to each other. We don’t know why someone is in a bad mood. And it likely has nothing to do with us.