A week ago was Mother’s Day. I reposted a tribute to my mom and my grandmas as the strong women in my life who helped mold me to be the person I am today.
I have also written about being Child Free by Choice (CFBC for short). I am 100% OK with my choice. But for some reason it makes so many people uncomfortable. Which I don’t get. This is not about you. It’s about me.
I am very open about my choice.
It bothers me that I am questioned, especially since I have given my decision and choice a lot of thought.
(To quote Charlotte from Sex and the City, I choose my choice!)
But what really upsets me is how some don’t realize that there are so many women out there who want to have a baby more than anything and they can’t get pregnant, stay pregnant, they lost a child or children, they are in an unhealthy relationship, they don’t want to have a baby alone, etc. …
Just because I don’t want to be a mom and am Child Free by Choice doesn’t mean:
- I am selfish.
- I hate children (though it is difficult for me to tolerate badly-behaved children).
- My life is not fulfilling.
- I am not a caring person.
- I am not a real woman.
- I won’t have someone to take care of me when I am old.
- I am not busy.
- My life is incomplete.
- Life isn’t challenging and hard for me.
- I don’t think you should have a baby (or babies) if you really want.
- My heart doesn’t break for those who can’t have a baby (whatever the circumstances are) who really want one.
- I am a bad person.
- My husband and I aren’t a family.
- I don’t have children in my life who I care for.
- I didn’t have an amazing mom raise me.
- I am not a nurturer.
- I need, or frankly want, people to tell me I would be a good mother. I will change my mind. Or that I will regret my choice.
I believe having a baby is the biggest commitment anyone will ever make. And I don’t think that should be taken lightly.
We all make choices in life and we should respect each other for our choices. And my choice and path in life is to not be a mother … but many other amazing things.